Locks of love

It's been 2 months and 1 week from diagnosis... wow. I'm shocked how much my life has changed since December 3rd - how much I've learned about myself, about my husband, about my family and my friends. How much I took for granted the little things - from being physically self sufficient to having a strong support system of family and friends. I knew I'd come out of this a different person, but I don't think I realized how soon I'd start to feel these changes. And I also know deep in my heart that I will never completely "come out of this". As much as it helps to cope and tackle something like this with a very practical step-by-step approach, I know this will be with me forever. Beyond the drugs and physical changes that will follow me for the rest of my life, I will have lived through and survived this. I will have grieved, cried, laughed and smiled harder and more openly than I ever could have before cancer. I'm partially surprised when I hear colleagues tell me they love reading the blog as they are able to see a different side of me that they've never seen before. On the contrary my friends tell me how wonderful it is to read my posts and that they can hear and imagine me saying every word I write. How crazy it is that I've created 2 very different worlds for myself... perhaps being a Gemini truly has some significance. And maybe, just maybe, there is something profound I should be conceiving from this.

Enough soul searching, here's where I am today. I've been taking full advantage of the "mini field trips" my Plastic Surgeon prescribed me with. These field trips have included several electronic shopping sprees, being pent up in bed all day hasn't allowed me to indulge in my rather compulsive shopping habits. But I now have enough energy to browse the online flash sales and take the few small steps to drag myself out of  bed, grab my wallet, and pick up Mr. Amex whom has been feeling rather neglected for the last few months (sans the medical bills).

I had my first "girls night in" organized by my friends and themed as a Pajama Party where my girlfriends brought over some delicious grub, decked out in their most comfy PJ's, and cozied up on the couch with me to watch "For A Good Time Call..." and "Pitch Perfect", both great girls night in movies (yes, I will forever be a Marketer as I admit I worked on one of these movies, and the other is from my parent company Universal). 9 bottles of wine later (don't worry, I only indulged in 1-2 glasses which my Docs told me was OK) and dosed up on much needed girl talk including debates on which celebs are pretty or ugly, whether the guy in "Pitch Perfect" is a hottie or a complete joke (I vote the latter), quick catch-ups on missed weddings and weekend boozefests including karaoke nights, and some re-evaluation on the best cup size for me... I was "happy as a clam at high tide" but exhausted from enduring the most activity my body had consumed in a month. I slept like a baby that night, as did hubby who was also able to enjoy a much needed "boys night out"!

The next day I woke up ready to conquer my first step in chemo preperation. I scheduled an afternoon haircut appointment, and was excited to don a fresh shorter cut which will also ease the emotions I'll be feeling when I start losing my hair 2-3 weeks after my first chemo session. In addition, I took a first big step and drove to my appointment. Jon has been my personal chaueffeur for the last month and it felt wonderful to get behind the wheel myself. Although I probably drove like a Grandma, and avoided sharp turns or U-turns, Jon patiently sat shot gun and applauded my good driving skills. I won't be making any long drives or getting on the freeway anytime soon, but it's good to know I have the ability to take short trips if I need to without Jon.

Prepped with photos of gorgeous models with short dos, my stylist promised she'd try to do everything she could to transform me into a super star with her scissors and expert hands! In addition I saved my hair and am donating it to "Locks of Love" where they create hair prosthetics for disadvantaged children.  I've posted some pics below... I'm pleased with the results!

Next up? This coming week I have many more doc appointments. I start physical therapy on Monday so the therapists can help me start building back the strength and mobility of my shoulders and arms. I have an appointment to spend a couple hours with a Chemotherapy Nurse who will be talking me through everything I should expect and will provide me with a prescription to start shopping for wigs. I will be dragging my girlfriends out with me for some wig shopping so I can start building a collection of fun hair pieces and wigs of all colors and styles, along with hats, scarves and all the fun accessories I can wear with them. I have a follow-up with my Plastic Surgeon to check how my wounds are healing, possibly get more stitches (or some removed), hopefully solidify a chemo date and maybe get the first injection of saline into my tissue expanders. Right now we're hoping to start Chemo on February 21st, but my Doctors will want to make sure my wounds are in good shape before we finalize that schedule.

So that's it for now! I miss seeing new Instagram photos... please post if you can! I have learned you need a public profile in order for your photo to upload to the feed. If you don't want to, or don't know how, just email me your photo and I can upload it on my account. I really do love seeing the photos!

Oh, and one more thing. Thank you to everyone who has sent me flowers, gifts, food, and just pure love. I have a full spreadsheet of thank you's I need to send out, but I haven't had the energy to write them, and writing is actually a lot more difficult than typing. But know I have received and am in huge thanks for everything, and I promise to send you a personal note of thanks when I am feeling better.

XOXO