All went well

Hello, I wanted to let everyone know that the surgery this morning went as planned per Dr Grunwald. We are in recovery right now and should be going home soon. We will go for a post surgery checkup early next week and hopefully will be on to the next step soon after.

Here I go again

I'm sitting at Saint John's waiting for registration to open up so I can begin all the preparations for my second surgery. One Norco, one Valium and one Emend in, I'm ready to get back on the path to recovery. Just a minor bump, but one that's not going to get me down or stand in my way. Depending on my state, myself or Jon will update you. Until then, I'll be dreaming of puppies (specifically mine!), white sand beaches, Becker's oatmeal cookies, shopping, exercising, my husband, my friends, my family, getting new boobies, a cancer free vacation, trashy reality tv, and all the wonderful things in life that make me smile each and every day.

Every road has its bumps

No matter how meticulous and detailed a plan can be, it seems real life always has it's way of throwing a curve ball. As last reported, I've been diligently following all medical directions. Staying in bed 24 hours a day, limiting activity to basically nothing (I maxed out at around 15 trips up and down the stairs in the last 2 weeks - not an easy thing for someone like me who is rather active and likes to take note of what is happening downstairs!), taking all medications when prescribed, practicing 10 deep breaths through this crazy inhaler several times a day to increase my lung capacity, sleeping face-up wedged between 2 pillows to ensure I don't move an inch. Thanks to my nurses (hubby, sis and mom), my schedule has been consistent and disciplined, all ensuring a smooth road to recovery. Then just when I think I'm progressing, this little thing called real life, wedges it's way into my road, creating unexpected bumps, turns, and forks (just like Robert Frost promised) that I have no choice but to face head on.

I have no doubt this will not be the first of these bumps, but yesterday I got the news that I will have to undergo a second surgery this week. I've been crossing my fingers not to have to do this, but in the end I know it could be a lot worse, and I will go into this with optimism and strength knowing that this will get me to the next phase. The news is that the blood flow is just not making it's way into the skin and nipples as I need it to. Although my Surgeon was able to perform a nipple sparing double mastectomy because there was no sign of cancer cells in the nipple area, unfortunately since I have such short pectoral muscles, the amount of stitching wasn't enough to save the left nipple. Additionally the skin below both nipples isn't getting the much needed blood flow required to keep it alive. The good news is with the r&r I allowed myself, and through the dedicated attention of my nurses, I got to a place where I have enough alive skin to keep the surgery minimal. I won't need to remove muscle from my back to use inside the breast. Instead, the surgery is going to basically take skin from right below my breasts and on the sides of my breasts and stretch it over both breasts in order to cover the areas where the skin is not surviving. My Plastic Surgeon will also clean out all the dead skin and remove anything that's not surviving. The surgery is expected to last around 2 hours, and is outpatient so I will have the wonderful comfort of crawling into my cozy bed after it's done. I'm still waiting on whether it will happen on Thursday or Friday, but they want to get it scheduled soon in order to allow enough healing time post-surgery so I can begin Chemotherapy in the 4-6 week post-first-op time period that's recommended (this, all assuming I need Chemotherapy, which I was scheduled to find out on Friday, but may now need to be postponed due to my impending surgery).

The news yesterday was delivered after a pretty crazy visit to the Plastic Surgeon. I'm sure Jon can provide a much more detailed description of what was performed in front of his very eyes, but in order for the Plastic Surgeon to see how much of my nipple was alive, she basically executed a careful circumcision of my nipple. I only know what I could hear, and my blood pressure sky rocketed when she told Jon he may not want to look at what she was about to do. I immediately started berating myself for not taking a Valium prior to the visit! Similar to my biopsy story, the worst part of these past couple months has all taken place in my head. It's not the actual events, the physical pain, the shots, the IV's, the constant pricking of blood draws, etc... it's been my imagination! When I saw her holding tweezers and a small pair of surgical scissors, I prayed she was simply cutting gauze and tape off of me. But I knew in my heart the snipping sound was not gauze. So I took deep breaths and tried to calm my mind, sending it to Hawaii... where I was swinging in a hammock next to a white sand beach with waves slowly crashing onto the shoreline. Jon has since told me the details, and believe me, I'm not looking forward to taking the bandages off to see the results.

After the visit, you will be happy to hear I did reward myself with a good old fashioned McDonald's cheeseburger and french fries. After my Plastic Surgeon was pulling around on my skin trying to see if I had enough of it to cover the dead skin she'd be removing, I started regretting not eating more! If you know me and my religious dedication to spinning and rather vain concerns about getting fat during Chemotherapy, I'm sure you'll laugh at the fact that I am now trying to find a way to fatten myself up in the next couple days so I have plenty of skin for her to use.

So that's the latest. Although perhaps not the "textbook" next step I was hoping for, real life just doesn't seem to work that way.

I close this post with a link to a fun page that my friends have created that is curating all the Instagram shots my supporters are taking of themselves wearing the IWBF tees. I'm trying to find a way to fix this on the right side of the blog so there's a continuous loop of pics, but as I'm not a programmer, you'll have to wait until I get some help from my wonderful technical friends. If you'd like to add a photo of yourself (which I'd personally LOVE!), simply add #iwillbefierce to your Instagram upload and it should make it's way onto the page. Come on sexy ladies and gentlemen, show us how fierce you are!

Check Out The IWBF Instagram Pictures!

Love to you...

New year, new layout

Don't be alarmed! I'm trying a new layout for my blog. We'll see how this one works... hopefully it's a little easier to navigate.

Drains be gone!

Many of you are back at work today from a 3-day weekend, while every day for me is seemingly blending together into one foggy post-op phase. The only thing that keeps me aware of what day it is, is that my wonderful husband (aka "nurse") had to leave my side early this morning. All that said, I will tell you that each and every day is getting better. Although mornings are never my best moments - with pain meds losing their wonderful numbing effect and my body aching from 8 hours of laying in the same position on my back pinned between a wall of pillows to ensure I don't move while sleeping; once I wake up, brush my teeth, and get fed my daily dose of warm coffee through a straw (a vice I will never give up), I start to feel some-what human again. 

In addition, yesterday I was able to take another great step towards recovery. I had the 2 remaining drains removed from my body. In case I didn't explain earlier, when I woke up from surgery I had 5 alien tubes attached to my body. 4 of these tubes were attached to drains which collected all that yucky fluid my body was producing as I was healing from my wounds. Think about the last time you skinned your knee or cut your finger. Your body produces fluid which acts to heal these wounds. With an operation like mine, the body produces so much of this fluid that it needs a way to get rid of it (otherwise it will build up inside with no way to get out). The drains basically provide a way for this fluid to extract itself out of my body, all collecting into a tube which my wonderful nurses have the fun job of emptying twice a day then measuring the amount of liquid I produced. Two of these tubes were removed the day I left Serenity. The other 2 remained inside me until yesterday, as the fluid finally hit below the total amount my body could get rid of by itself. Although not necessarily painful, I was always aware of these drains. I was very careful not to accidentally pull one, and the stitches that were holding them inside me itched like crazy. After a double dose of Norcos, I went to my Plastic Surgeon who told me to take a deep breath and then proceeded to pull out around 6 inches of tube that was somehow peacefully living inside my body. Thank goodness I didn't witness this, although I think it was all very fascinating to Jon who said it was like a noodle being pulled out of my body. (Apologies to those who are queasy just reading this!)

Now onto that 5th alien tube I woke up with. This is one I am not proud of, but one I have to say was the most horrible tube (yes, worse than the 6-inch noodles on each side of my body)! This specific tube was probably one of the very first things I felt when I woke up from surgery. Not pain in my breasts, not nausea from anesthesia, but this very odd and painful feeling "down there". Funny enough this was the very first thing I said to Jon. I boldly croaked the name of that body part to him, of which I recall him looking at me with a puzzling stare, then I heard him ask the nurse if they had done something to me "down there" (obviously the very opposite end of the body they should have been working on). He chuckled then told me that I had a catheter inside me. YUCK! The catheter remained inside me for the first 24 hours as the Doctors didn't want me getting up and down to use the bathroom. I hated it. I know that's a strong word, and believe me, I know it had it's purpose. But I did not want to move one inch of my body with that thing inside me. It was so uncomfortable and painful. I was scared to death every time the nurses tried to rearrange my body in the bed or move the comforter and sheets around me. I didn't want anyone touching that tube, as any slight movement caused a serious discomfort that was incredibly unpleasant for me.

Let's move off the horror stories. I'm now officially "tube free". I have no alien tubes protruding out of my body, and I'm beginning to feel more normal each and every day. I'm still very tired, I'm sure simply writing this blog post will result in a 2-hour nap, but that's all to be expected as every ounce of my energy is going towards healing my wounds. 

With the pathology report back, we're now waiting on the Oncotype test. It sounds like this will only confirm a few things, as most of the Doctors at this point are saying that I will need Chemotherapy based on the aggressiveness of my tumor and the fact that there's a chance some of the cancer cells went into my blood stream. But I'm 99% sure I will not need radiation. I have a required appointment with a Radiation Oncologist to hear him say this, but I am very hopeful as I really don't want it. Also, I have found peace assuming I will get the diagnosis that I will need Chemotherapy. As always with my personality, I just wish I would have that definitive answer immediately so I can start the process of getting my hair cut a little shorter (so loosing it won't be as noticeable) and dragging my girlfriends along for some wig shopping. Believe me, I plan to rock some new shades, styles and cuts as I've always wanted to play "dress up" with my hair!

The last bit of news I will share is that we're still paying very careful attention to my nipples and the skin around it. Apparently my anatomy had very short muscles under my breasts, which required a lot more stitching than anticipated. (By the way, I did ask my Doctor if I had done a few more planks and pull-ups, would I have helped to build that muscle?, of which she laughed and said "no" - it was just part of the way I was made up!). The blood is having a hard time reaching all of that skin, so we're keeping a watchful eye on them to make sure the blood makes its way to this skin and it won't die. If my Plastic Surgeon had all the time in the world, I'm sure she'd give it a few more weeks. The problem is that if I need Chemotherapy, I will need to start it 4-6 weeks after surgery. And if my skin isn't going to make it, they're going to need to perform a second surgery to remove the dead skin and try to find a way to replace it (whether this means I get to pick some thigh fat for removal is to be determined!). But with a new surgery, the clock starts over and I need to wait that 4-6 weeks for Chemotherapy. So it's all a crazy maze of "what-ifs", and I'm trying to just take it all in and patiently wait as there's nothing else I can really do.

Until the next post, know I'm happily being cared for by my big sis who has replaced my mother from her first week of nurse duty. My sister is proving an excellent nurse, I jokingly call her the "pill nazi" as she is more on top of my pill schedule than I would be! And on top of it she's giving me some nice facials, and believe me, my face needs some tender loving care right now - it's a frightening thing to look at, thank goodness mirrors are no where near me.

Big hugs again to all of you who have sent your love. I'm doing well, and am in good hands.

Negative nodes

A brief post as I'm a bit weak and sore, but I wanted to share and celebrate with you another victory in my journey. The pathology report came back and my lymph nodes are free of cancer!!!! Yay (I'm attempting a victory dance in my bed which looks more like a worm-like wiggle)! The other crazy news is they found some atypical cells in my right breast. So although I was always at peace with my decision to get a double M, I have been reassured of my decisions. I am so relieved I made that choice. It would have been devastating to go through this again in 5-7 years. I am damn proud of the decision I made, despite questions, inquiring looks and doubts from many in the medical field. Please give thanks to all the positive juju you sent my way, and raise a glass to this one little victory and to many more to come.

One day at a time

I start this post with a quick disclaimer that #1 I'm on a lot of meds, and #2 I am not moving my arms much, which I know all of you realize are attached to my hands and fingers... both #1 and #2 having a huge responsibility for the words I write on this post!

So I am home. Home sweet home as Jon would say. And I'm waiting for the phone call from my Surgeon, which I anticipate in the next day or two (at most) to let me know if the cancer found it's way into my lymph nodes (apparently a detail I had wrong in a previous post as it's not something I find out immediately after the surgery).

The surgery went well. The preparation was quick, I signed a few consents and then my plastic surgeon drew her "picasso" on me, making sure to mark where my nipples were, etc. I was quickly whisked off to the surgery room where they positioned me on a table and that's about where my side of the story ends until I remember being woken up to be put into a wheel chair so I could be transfered to Serenity. This is about where one of the worst parts of the day took place. Instead of carefully transfering me over in a bed, they insisted they move me to a rinky little wheel chair by a man I swear had no nursing care whatsoever. He attempted to grab my elbows to support me over to the chair, of which I'm sure I vocally assaulted him until he removed his hands from anywhere near my aching body, At that moment all I remember wanting was to be laying down and being dosed with meds through my IV. Unfortunately I didn't have that luxery. Once they finally had me in a wheel chair, they made me sit for a good 20 minutes because apparently they didn't have the proper paper work for the "nurse" to drive me to Serenity. What a nightmare. After what seemed like forever, the same nurse whom I at that point despised, pulled me out of the wheel chair and into the back seat of a town car where they actually drove me like a normal passanger 15 miles to Santa Monica in rush hour. I should have thrown up in that guys car just out of despite, but I sucked it up, took deep breaths, and kept thinking a bed and meds was not far behind.

Serenity wasn't bad. I had my own room and a very comfy bed. although night one I could have slept on the floor and been just as happy. The were some awesome nurses, and some pretty bad ones. The one shocking point was when one nurse started taking my blood pressure from my arm which is a big NO NO for a double mastectomy patient (it's taken through the ankle). Jon quickly made sure that nurse never made her way into my room again.

Now it's Wednesday, and I'm still really sore and I have these 2 tubes which need to be emptied every 12 hours. I was hopeful to get them removed today as they're rather uncomfortable and painful at times, but no luck as my body is still producing this liquid that it can't get rid of without the drains. My nipples are a bit of concern to my doctors (and me). Because I didn't have a lot of tissue and muscle to begin with in my breasts, when removing all of it they had to do a lot of "stitching" to attach muscles to generate blood flow to the nipples. Right now is a bit of a critical stage to see if they take the blood they so very badly need to survive. So more on that later,

I leave you with some advice to all the men out there who are reading this. Not because my husband isn't the most amazing, supportive, loving man in the world, but because he is such a manly man, he never thought he'd need to know how to do this and it caused a bit of a riff yesterday when I painfully attempted my first shower. Learn how to wash a womans hair. Learn the importance of scrubbing not just the hair, but the scalp! Learn what the importance of conditioner is. And learn how to put long hair in a pony tail (no, you don't double the rubber band before you put the hair in it!). Yes, I admit I don't know how to shave a beard or do a tie, but perhaps those are lessons I will teach myself once I get through this.

To close, thank you for all your love, flowers, food, notes, socks, robes, blankets, visits, and just well wishes. I read and cherise each and every one. One day at a time, and I'll keep you posted when those norcos are doing their job and I'm well enough to post.

Home Sweet Home

It's now Monday night, last update was when Niki had just checked into Serenity Recovery Center. Three days and two nights later, we came back home on Sunday afternoon. Serenity is where Niki realized how sore she actually was and I saw firsthand the care that I would be in charge of administering the next few weeks. Niki has come a long way from Friday night, when she was hooked up to IV's, barely keeping her eyes open to Saturday of eating threes meals, enjoying the visits of caring friends and walking 1 lap around the floor. The recovery was beginning. Sunday we loaded Niki into my car and got her home and in bed. Serenity was nice but there's always nothing Iike home. I picked Niki's mom up from LAX Sunday afternoon and Niki was having miso soup for dinner. Monday was spent getting everyone used to the home care that hopefully will keep Niki on the road to recovery. Niki was and is really sore but managing it with some pain killers and sleep. She has begun to get herself in and out of bed ... and is now eyeing the shower. She does still have 2 drains attached to her, that we empty twice a day and are hopeful they will be removed by Dr Grunwald at this Wednesdays checkup. Let's all keep our fingers crossed the next couple weeks, as we will begin to get tests results, that will determine what the next couple months have in store for us.

We heard today that the first batch of I Will Be Fierce t shirts have sold out and they are running a second batch! Very cool! Thank You!

Let the recovery begin!

Hello everyone. Our day began at 4:30AM, we arrived at Pink Lotus at 6AM, they took Niki into Surgery at 7:30AM.. She was eager to begin the procedure as was I. I received the "halftime" call from Dr Kristi Funk about 11:30AM.. Dr Funk said Niki is doing great, she is stable, very little blood loss.. Then came the big question... Did they spare her nipple..? Yes! They were able to successfully spare the nipple and Dr Funks procedure went exactly as planned.. Great news! Now time for Dr Grunwald to perform plastic surgery. Dr Grunwald finished about 3PM.. She came out to speak to me and let me know her procedure went as planned. Great news! But Niki was going to be very sore as expected. I was able to see Niki at this point and assist getting her from the bed to wheelchair to car.. That was quite the process. Once we moved her from Beverly Hills to Santa Monica (Serenity recover center) and after a few vital tests and some pain killers, Niki was able to start to relax.. She looked at me and said "what happened?, how long did it take?" Once I told Niki the good news that everything went as planned, within seconds she was out cold, fast asleep.. Getting well deserved rest...Sunday we hope to have Niki up walking and on the road to recovery.. Next step is waiting for the results of a few tests that will determine exactly what the recovery road has in store for us..but for now, Niki did great, I am so proud of her!! She has been so strong and an inspiration. We both thank all of you for your love and support..

One last thing. If you have not already, check out the awesome website: iwillbefierce.com
Thank you Arthur for this!

Sprinklings of love

It's time! Let's kick this cancers ass, let's remove it from my body and start the next phase in my recovery. I'm confident, I'm strong, I'm a fighter... I'm ready to wake up cancer free.

Today has been peaceful. I've been able to slowly pack for my hospital stay, re-read my pre-surgery instructions, touch base with family and friends, and relax. I know I'm loved, and I know I have so many positive wishes and prayers being sent my way that I will be just fine. 

Tomorrow I will check into the surgery center at 6:30 am. I'm the only surgery, so I should be in surgery by 7:30 or 8. My Surgeon has promised to call Jon for a "half time report", as I can only imagine the anxiety he will be going through while I'm under. I look forward to waking up and having him beside me in recovery, and then they'll whisk me off to Serenity where I will begin my recovery.

I'm sure I'll have some fun stories to share of drain bags and saline injections once I'm out of this, but as someone just told me... take it one day at a time.  And right now I'm focused on a successful surgery and a smiling husband when I wake up.

Love to all of you, and thanks for sending the positive energy, loves, hugs and kisses. I've collected each and every one of them and will spread them all around me tomorrow.

Countdown

Wow, I'm close. I'm less than 48 hours away from surgery.

I know all of you want to know how I'm doing, how I'm holding up, how I'm feeling. I'm honestly a bit of an emotional kaleidoscope right now, changing my colors every minute. One minute I'll be on the verge of tears, the next minute I'm focused - ready to wrap up loose ends at work and just move on with this.

The one thing I've been struggling with over the past week is that I'm tired, in all sense of that word. I'm physically drained, I wake up each morning feeling like I just went to war in my dreams and am still fatigued when I drag myself out of bed. I'm beginning to think that the past month of research, anticipation, worry, preparation, etc are starting to take a physical toll on my body. Perhaps I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that the first big step in my cancer annihilation is about to happen, and my body is finally accepting this and telling me to slow down the next 48 hours. I'm also emotionally tired. I'm tired of holding myself together, breaking the news to people, trying to decipher how others are reacting to my news, and keeping a strong and positive attitude about the whole situation. Don't misinterpret this as raising my hands in defeat. On the contrary, I feel it's probably just part of the process, and as the surgery date gets closer, my brain is slowly lowering it's guard and trying to accept and understand everything that's been thrown at it, and re-focusing it's energy on me.

So what do the next 48 hours hold for me?  Here's the breakdown.

- I'm finishing up at work, trying to transition everything I can possibly think of so the team is in a good place while I am gone.
- I'm staying healthy, holing myself up in my office, dosing up on vitamins and Emergen-C's, gargling with salt water, bundling up to stay warm, keeping my body strong with spin classes and stomaching the aftermath of Jon's experiments with his new best friend "the juicer" (actually, not as bad as I make it sound!) so I'm at my strongest during the surgery.
- I'm mentally trying to calm myself down, seemingly the easiest item on this list, and 100% the most difficult for me to do.
- I'm packing my overnight bag with cute new pajamas (front buttons required as I won't be able to lift my arms!), entertaining movies, magazines, electronics and books, and all the post surgery meds prescribed to ward off the pain and keep the germs at bay.
- I'm trying to straighten up our room for potential visitors post-surgery to keep me entertained (hint, hint!).
- I'm oozing love and affection to my dogs, who unbeknownst to them, will be seeing a lot more of me over the next 6 weeks, and have a special effect of bringing my blood pressure down and easing my mind when it's racing.
- I'm cuddling with my husband, who has a similar soothing effect on me as my dogs!

Speaking of husbands, I am handing over my blog password to Jon while I am in surgery on Friday (I forgive him in advance for grammatical and spelling errors), so we can keep all of you posted. Stay tuned, stay fierce.

Out With The Old, In With The New

As I was conducting my much needed annual purge of unused t-shirts, jeans, dresses and shoes this past weekend, I laughed to myself as I thought how this traditional New Year’s saying has never been more appropriate. I’m ready to kick out this old nasty cancer and welcome in a nice new pair of healthy boobs. 2013, bring it on, I’m ready!

I’m on a 10-day countdown to 1-11-2013 when I undergo surgery to remove the cancer and simultaneously go through phase 1 reconstruction of new breasts. To say I’m anxious is an understatement. I wish I didn’t have this long drawn out time to think, analyze, worry and scare myself about everything. My mind won’t stop racing with anxiety about the surgery itself, thoughts on my prognosis post-surgery, questions about future treatment plans… basically my future life. It’s driving me crazy. To keep my mind focused on the positive, I’ve been burying myself in a new kind of research… BOOBS! Yes, I get to go shopping for a new pair of knockers, and I seem to have the full attention of my husband who although has always been supportive of my rather obsessive shopping habit, has never seemed to have much of an opinion in helping me select purchases until now! While watching TV and movies over the holidays, reading cheesy gossip magazines about Kim Kardashian's latest pregnancy, and celebrating New Years Eve in Hollywood with our friends, we've both been paying extra special attention to cleavage size and curves. Jennifer Aniston or Megan Fox boobs? A Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Brandi or Taylor rack? The red head in the corner or blonde girl on the dance floor jugs? The good news is I’ll actually get a chance to “sample” my purchase before making a decision. I know this has a lot of you scratching your heads wondering what I’m talking about, which leads me to the fascinating breakdown of what exactly is going to happen on 1-11 under the special care of my network of hand selected Surgeons.    

Before I begin, I make full disclaimer that I am not a doctor and everything I write is based on my own understanding and interpretations. If you are a doctor, are in medical school, or have gone through this yourself, I apologize if I am getting a detail or two mixed up. I am only basing this on my extensive 1-month Cancer College degree (which is actually almost 1-month on-the-dot, my diagnosis was on Dec 3^rd)!

So here’s the breakdown. The first 2-3 hours of the surgery will be 100% dedicated to removing the cancer. The first step in this process is called a Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy where the doctors inject dye into my breasts to help identify where my sentinel lymph nodes are. Once detected (apparently these odd shape puppies are not easy to find, thus the need for the dye), they remove them and send them to Pathology where they are immediately tested to see if cancer has spread to them. At that point a decision will be made if other nodes will need to be removed. While this is happening, my Surgeon will go in and remove my entire left and right breasts (double mastectomy). This involves removing the glands that produce breast milk, the ducts that carry breast milk to the nipples (specifically where my cancer has formed) and all the tissue and fat that surround those 2 parts (which are basically the sole medical purpose of breasts, note emphasis on “medical”)! She will also conduct a biopsy of my nipple by slicing off a small part from the backside. Pathology will run an on-site test to see if there is any cancer in it, and if not I’ll be able to save my nipples (nipple sparing double mastectomy). Once all this is done, the doctors send the tumor out for a full Oncotest to better understand my cancer, my treatment, my stage, etc, etc. From there it’s another 1-2 week wait before I learn the results.

Now onto part 2. After the Breast Surgeon is done removing the cancer, the Plastic Surgeon is on deck. Her job will be to insert “tissue expanders” under my chest muscle, make me look pretty, and sew me back up (although not as simple as I make it sound – it’s a 4 hour process). Tissue expanders are these crazy implant shaped devices that help to stretch my muscle and skin to make room for future implants. At the time of surgery they fill the expanders will a small amount of saline. After surgery I will visit the Plastic Surgeon every week to get a little more saline added in. Here’s where I get to “try on” my size. I’ll be progressing through the alphabet of bra sizes over the course of weeks! Once I lock in on a size, I’ll wait at least 3 months with the expanders in before I go in for a second surgery to get the expanders removed and the implants put into place. Chemotherapy or radiation will also be a factor, as I can’t be undergoing either during the second surgery. Hopefully that’s the last phase, although pending the outcome of my nipple, there’s a chance I will need to get nipples tattooed on during a third surgery.

So that’s it! Still a lot of unknowns, but I’m on my way to getting answers. I've already told Jon that the first 2 questions I will ask when I wake up from surgery are… “Did the cancer spread to my lymph nodes?” and “Do I still have my nipples?”! What a difference a month makes, I'm sure he never thought he'd miss answering... "Do these jeans make me look fat?"!

To help with the recovery, I’ll be shacked up at “Serenity” for 2 nights after the surgery. Apparently this is "recovery for the stars" - a hotel-like experience which is supposed to be much better than a hospital. I’m looking forward to the fresh-baked chocolate cookies that my nurse told me they keep in stock!

Closing up, I'd like to raise a glass to a very happy and healthy 2013. Celebrate each and every day. 

Love to all of you.

P.S. For all of you that don't want to keep checking back for my updates, you can subscribe to my blog and get my updates via email.  Scroll your mouse to the the right side of the page and a bar should expand to the left giving you the option to click on it.  Click "subscribe" and follow the instructions!