One day at a time

I start this post with a quick disclaimer that #1 I'm on a lot of meds, and #2 I am not moving my arms much, which I know all of you realize are attached to my hands and fingers... both #1 and #2 having a huge responsibility for the words I write on this post!

So I am home. Home sweet home as Jon would say. And I'm waiting for the phone call from my Surgeon, which I anticipate in the next day or two (at most) to let me know if the cancer found it's way into my lymph nodes (apparently a detail I had wrong in a previous post as it's not something I find out immediately after the surgery).

The surgery went well. The preparation was quick, I signed a few consents and then my plastic surgeon drew her "picasso" on me, making sure to mark where my nipples were, etc. I was quickly whisked off to the surgery room where they positioned me on a table and that's about where my side of the story ends until I remember being woken up to be put into a wheel chair so I could be transfered to Serenity. This is about where one of the worst parts of the day took place. Instead of carefully transfering me over in a bed, they insisted they move me to a rinky little wheel chair by a man I swear had no nursing care whatsoever. He attempted to grab my elbows to support me over to the chair, of which I'm sure I vocally assaulted him until he removed his hands from anywhere near my aching body, At that moment all I remember wanting was to be laying down and being dosed with meds through my IV. Unfortunately I didn't have that luxery. Once they finally had me in a wheel chair, they made me sit for a good 20 minutes because apparently they didn't have the proper paper work for the "nurse" to drive me to Serenity. What a nightmare. After what seemed like forever, the same nurse whom I at that point despised, pulled me out of the wheel chair and into the back seat of a town car where they actually drove me like a normal passanger 15 miles to Santa Monica in rush hour. I should have thrown up in that guys car just out of despite, but I sucked it up, took deep breaths, and kept thinking a bed and meds was not far behind.

Serenity wasn't bad. I had my own room and a very comfy bed. although night one I could have slept on the floor and been just as happy. The were some awesome nurses, and some pretty bad ones. The one shocking point was when one nurse started taking my blood pressure from my arm which is a big NO NO for a double mastectomy patient (it's taken through the ankle). Jon quickly made sure that nurse never made her way into my room again.

Now it's Wednesday, and I'm still really sore and I have these 2 tubes which need to be emptied every 12 hours. I was hopeful to get them removed today as they're rather uncomfortable and painful at times, but no luck as my body is still producing this liquid that it can't get rid of without the drains. My nipples are a bit of concern to my doctors (and me). Because I didn't have a lot of tissue and muscle to begin with in my breasts, when removing all of it they had to do a lot of "stitching" to attach muscles to generate blood flow to the nipples. Right now is a bit of a critical stage to see if they take the blood they so very badly need to survive. So more on that later,

I leave you with some advice to all the men out there who are reading this. Not because my husband isn't the most amazing, supportive, loving man in the world, but because he is such a manly man, he never thought he'd need to know how to do this and it caused a bit of a riff yesterday when I painfully attempted my first shower. Learn how to wash a womans hair. Learn the importance of scrubbing not just the hair, but the scalp! Learn what the importance of conditioner is. And learn how to put long hair in a pony tail (no, you don't double the rubber band before you put the hair in it!). Yes, I admit I don't know how to shave a beard or do a tie, but perhaps those are lessons I will teach myself once I get through this.

To close, thank you for all your love, flowers, food, notes, socks, robes, blankets, visits, and just well wishes. I read and cherise each and every one. One day at a time, and I'll keep you posted when those norcos are doing their job and I'm well enough to post.